“Relationships”

14 06, 2018

Missing Your Dad on Father’s Day

By | 2018-06-13T23:38:45-07:00 June 14th, 2018|Grief and Healing, Inspiration, Parental Loss|0 Comments

Living intentionally with people is paramount to living well. I also believe intentionality is essential to grieving well. Father's Day hits a tender spot. Every year as I write posts about mothers and fathers I'm struck by the feeling of each day. Mother's Day feels pink and rosy, the prime of spring, and there's a fresh sweetness to it that just fits with the idea of celebrating our moms. Father's Day is at the cusp of glorious, adventure-filled summer and there's a nostalgia that comes with that of our days playing in the yard, family vacations and ice cold drinks. [...]

10 05, 2017

If Your Mom has Died, If Your Child has Died … The Shadow Side of Mother’s Day

By | 2017-05-10T15:57:57-07:00 May 10th, 2017|Child Loss, News, Parental Loss|0 Comments

This post isn't to take away from the joy of those celebrating or being celebrated this Mother's Day - go for it, enjoy and make the most of your time with the people you love. But for those of you who are in the shadow-side of Mother's Day because your mother has died, or, because your child has died, let's talk, this post is for you. If your mom has died ... Well, you will get through, you will. You may feel alone in it, so let me encourage you to invite her in to the day. Find ways of [...]

22 03, 2017

Stop Saying “Don’t Give Up.” Please.

By | 2017-03-22T06:53:13-07:00 March 22nd, 2017|Community, Perspective|0 Comments

We say a lot of things to grieving people that under normal circumstances would be fine, hopefully even encouraging, but to people facing a life or death situation, a trauma, shock or loss, these can be the most backward and unhelpful things they could possibly hear. Our discomfort, our desire to bring ease, our inability to fathom what they are going through, and our inherent inability to keep our mouths shut are all common reasons that lead to us saying things we never would have if we'd thought about it. I've talked about this before and doubtless, will talk about it [...]

11 06, 2014

Learning from my Four Fathers

By | 2014-06-11T20:30:26-07:00 June 11th, 2014|Community, Inspiration|44 Comments

Four Fathers I get a haunting pit in my stomach now when Father’s Day approaches. Don’t get me wrong, I love the holiday, but working at a mortuary puts a twist on how you see special days like these. Every phone call has the potential to be a child/spouse letting us know that their father/husband has passed on. Or worse yet, a father is calling to inquire about how he should go about honoring his lost child. It’s a day I would rather not work but it does remind me how blessed I am to still have my dad around. [...]

4 06, 2014

A Buddhist Memorial Service: Making Time to Remember Years Later

By | 2014-06-04T21:00:58-07:00 June 4th, 2014|Ceremonies, News, Seasons of Life|41 Comments

It is Buddhist practice to hold a memorial service for loved ones every set number of years after their death. Recently, my family and I gathered for a memorial service for not just one family member but 3: my grandpa, grandma, and mom. My grandpa died 14 years ago, my grandma 6 years ago, and my mom 5 years ago. Traditionally, these services consist of chanting, incense offering, and a message by the reverend. The service functions as a time for you to meditate on the memories of the one who died and to recognize the impermanence of our own [...]

16 04, 2014

Stubborn Love | The Power of Lyrics

By | 2014-04-16T19:57:22-07:00 April 16th, 2014|Inspiration, Perspective|52 Comments

“Its better to feel pain, than nothing at all. The opposite of love is indifference.”   It was around 10:30 on a Wednesday night, and there I was, driving out to Laguna Hills to bring someone who had passed away into our care. Only this time I was not going to be calling a stranger to let them know their loved one was in our care. I was not going to fill out any paperwork with a strange name at the heading, nor was I going to be setting up an appointment for the family to meet an Arranger. The [...]

7 04, 2014

Connection and Kindness: How We’re Different

By | 2014-04-07T13:08:22-07:00 April 7th, 2014|Inspiration, Perspective|60 Comments

We love feedback and part of my job at O'Connor is to meet with families we have recently served to collect their responses, experiences & stories of their time with us. http://www.cityofalisoviejo.com/Lisa-Blue I love asking the question, “So, why O’Connor?” Many families have had a previous experience with us and we are who they trust. Some chose us because of what  I call "The Six Degrees of O’Connor” - their kids went to school with one of the O’Connor children or grandchildren, or they know Joe & Jane O’Connor from church, their community or other organizations.  Other people [...]

22 10, 2013

Saying Goodbye to “Amber, Pamber, Peaches, Pumpkin, Pie” & 5 Ways to Pay Tribute to Your Beloved Pet

By | 2013-10-22T23:25:43-07:00 October 22nd, 2013|Inspiration, News, Self-Help|64 Comments

I call my friend Betty my “California Mom”. We met over seven years ago serving together at church. One of many reasons we bonded immediately is due to our love for dogs.  Neither of us would be offended if you call us crazy dog ladies, because quite frankly, the name fits. Betty had adopted Amber from a lady who could no longer care for the precious pup.  Due to the color of her coat and many of us like to give our dogs endearing nicknames, she became “Amber, Pamber, Peaches, Pumpkin Pie”.  Betty became skilled at rambling off her full [...]

1 10, 2013

Put Me In The Corner: Brawling with Grief

By | 2013-10-01T11:40:32-07:00 October 1st, 2013|General, Inspiration|44 Comments

Imagine for a moment that you are a professional strike artist. A master of the body shot, and a prolific producer of the “right hook”.  You’re fast, strong, and calculating. Anybody who has ever stepped in the ring with you has found defeat, whether it be by knockout or unanimous decision. You’re unstoppable, unbeatable. The ultimate fighter. Photo Courtesy of iStock/thaddeus_griffin Now imagine you step in the ring, just like any time before, and as you turn your gaze upon the foe in the other corner, you are crushed by fear. Your chest tightens as you see that [...]

18 09, 2013

An Ode to Tommy: An O’Connor Employee Hall of Famer

By | 2013-09-18T05:00:34-07:00 September 18th, 2013|Community, News|18 Comments

Well, it's finally happening - Tommy is leaving us. Tommy is a Service Director here at O'Connor and he will soon be retiring and moving back to his well-loved, native land of New Jersey. In the 8 years that Tommy has spent at O'Connor he has carved a deep place for himself in the family of our staff. His thick New Jersey accent, dynamite wit, and unfailing compassion for every person that walks through our doors are just some of the reasons why we love Tommy so much. He will leave behind him a place that no one will be [...]