“Holidays”

19 12, 2018

It’s OK to be Sad at Christmas

By | 2018-12-18T22:05:51-08:00 December 19th, 2018|Grief and Healing, Seasons of Life|4 Comments

If you are sad this Christmas, it is ok. We tend to feel that the holidays aren't a time for sadness. That we should magically "feel better" or at least pretend to be doing fine. And while around some people it may be easier or best to pretend, it is important that with ourselves and our trusted friends, we be honest. Share your sorrow with someone who also shares it. If a friend or family member has died this year, others are also missing them. Reach out, be a connection and remind them - affirm for yourself - no one [...]

19 11, 2018

Grieving Through the Holidays

By | 2018-11-16T15:55:20-08:00 November 19th, 2018|General, Grief and Healing|3 Comments

Grieving Through the Holidays For so many families the holidays hold the promise of togetherness, familiarity, tradition and comfort. But for the grieving, every one of these words is shattered and opposed by new words like, apart, strange, broken and grieved. So what does this "grieving through the holidays" look like? Feel like? What are your expectations? Fears? Anxieties? Considering in advance what these holidays might be like for you can be one of the greatest helps to getting yourself through these days that feel emptied out of their usual joy.   Here are some things to consider in preparation: [...]

14 06, 2018

Missing Your Dad on Father’s Day

By | 2018-06-13T23:38:45-08:00 June 14th, 2018|Grief and Healing, Inspiration, Parental Loss|0 Comments

Living intentionally with people is paramount to living well. I also believe intentionality is essential to grieving well. Father's Day hits a tender spot. Every year as I write posts about mothers and fathers I'm struck by the feeling of each day. Mother's Day feels pink and rosy, the prime of spring, and there's a fresh sweetness to it that just fits with the idea of celebrating our moms. Father's Day is at the cusp of glorious, adventure-filled summer and there's a nostalgia that comes with that of our days playing in the yard, family vacations and ice cold drinks. [...]

9 05, 2018

Intentionally Commemorating Mother’s Day

By | 2018-05-09T18:56:21-08:00 May 9th, 2018|Ceremonies, General, Grief and Healing|0 Comments

Whether this is your first Mother's Day as a bereaved person or your 50th, Mother's Day brings all of us pause. As we take time to think about our own mothers or perhaps the children we are missing that made us mothers - it's important that we be present with the reality of those relationships. If you can be with your mom and your children are well - you should freely have the full joy of this day. Take pictures, speak from your heart, and try to make clear memories of the sweetness of health and family. If your relationships [...]

12 02, 2017

Transforming Painful Days into New Traditions

By | 2017-02-12T20:06:35-08:00 February 12th, 2017|Inspiration, Perspective, Seasons of Life|0 Comments

A Table for 1 on Valentine's Day Holidays/birthdays/anniversaries ... there is always one of these days looming around the corner it seems when we are in the throws of grief. Days that used to hold so much joy and fun and now hold anxiety, dread and loss. How do we cope with these painful days that hold traditions and decades of memories? What do we do on Valentine's Day when our Valentine has died? I want to talk about how we can be intentional about transitioning parts of these days into new traditions. As I thought about what to write for Valentine's Day, another tough [...]

24 03, 2016

Death Died a Long Time Ago

By | 2016-03-24T12:00:36-08:00 March 24th, 2016|Inspiration, News, Seasons of Life|3 Comments

As Easter approaches and Spring continues to bloom all over our beautiful county, my heart and eyes behold the hope of this season; the hope of life. A favorite song of mine growing up had the line "Death died a long time ago" - it's meaning is rooted in the Christian faith but I think the words ring true for all of us who have hope beyond this world of seeing our loved ones again. From the song's perspective, death is a temporary divide. In the Easter story, the true grim finality of death is erased when Jesus is raised from the dead. With [...]

2 12, 2015

Grief During the Holidays: 5 Ways for Adults and Children to Remember

By | 2015-12-02T07:47:29-08:00 December 2nd, 2015|Inspiration, News, Seasons of Life|3 Comments

Each year as we prepare for and pass by our Candlelight Service of Remembrance I am confronted with the multitudes of losses experienced in our community in just 1 year. I think of these families and wonder how their holidays are going. I'm sure they didn't expect to be in grief during the holidays this year, nor do they yet know how that grief can change everything. Yes, Halloween & Thanksgiving have been survived so there may be some sense of, "I can do this" even though they may not want to. But, now Christmas is coming ... But Christmas is on [...]

8 05, 2015

Mother’s Day Without Mom

By | 2015-05-08T17:31:26-08:00 May 8th, 2015|Ceremonies, Inspiration, Perspective, Self-Help|5 Comments

Mother's Day without Mom, it changes everything. What do you do? How do you "celebrate" the day? It is my mom's first Mother's Day without her mom. None of the usual, sweet birthday cards came from my grandma last month when we celebrated 3 family birthdays. Since she died a few months ago, small things have changed in my world, but much bigger things have changed in my mom's world. Talking to my mom the other day she said, "I'm just really missing her. I feel like I should call her because I haven't in a while - and then [...]

17 12, 2014

Handling the Holidays: Adjusting to the Loss

By | 2014-12-17T23:15:22-08:00 December 17th, 2014|Inspiration, Seasons of Life, Self-Help|7 Comments

  For some of you, this is not the first holiday where you will be missing people you love. You "survived" the holidays last year but maybe just barely. Perhaps you feel like you can't get in the spirit of Christmas, you feel like a desolate place and everyone around you is putting on bows and smiling. Yes, you've made it through one round of the holidays but that doesn't mean this will be easy. In some ways, the second year of grief can be more difficult as the permanence of the loss begins to really sink in. For others, [...]

11 06, 2014

Learning from my Four Fathers

By | 2014-06-11T20:30:26-08:00 June 11th, 2014|Community, Inspiration|44 Comments

Four Fathers I get a haunting pit in my stomach now when Father’s Day approaches. Don’t get me wrong, I love the holiday, but working at a mortuary puts a twist on how you see special days like these. Every phone call has the potential to be a child/spouse letting us know that their father/husband has passed on. Or worse yet, a father is calling to inquire about how he should go about honoring his lost child. It’s a day I would rather not work but it does remind me how blessed I am to still have my dad around. [...]