28 03, 2019

Seeing Signs: Love From Beyond the Grave

By | 2019-03-28T22:43:48-07:00 March 28th, 2019|Grief and Healing, Inspiration, News|2 Comments

Ok, so this title may sound a little ... different - thanks for clicking anyway : ) Have you ever wished for a "sign"? I know I have. "If this is what I'm supposed to do, please give me a sign".  We offer this thought to God or the universe and hope that something - anything divine will happen. Whenever we want a sign, what we really want is peace. After all, a "sign" represents supernatural reassurance that we are not alone or adrift.  It is a divine symbol that brings reassurance and peace to your heart and mind. Many [...]

16 11, 2017

Talking with the Dead

By | 2018-01-31T09:16:33-08:00 November 16th, 2017|Community, Inspiration, News|0 Comments

I have learned so much from grieving people and I continue to be amazed at the creative, meaningful, and symbolic rituals they take on in the journey of missing their loved one. Recently, I came across a story deeply grabbed my heart and that I am so thankful I listened to. From the podcast, This American Life, I listened to Episode #597, "One Last Thing Before I Go." To paraphrase the story for you, in Japan a man's cousin died. Desiring an outlet for his grief, he found an old phone booth and installed it in his yard. The phone was old, [...]

18 10, 2017

Why We Should All Celebrate The Day of the Dead

By | 2017-10-18T22:59:28-07:00 October 18th, 2017|News|0 Comments

Why we should all celebrate the day of the dead // What do you do throughout the year to honor people in your family who have died? Do you mark their birthday? Deathiversary (yes, that’s a thing)? Do you gather together with others to remember and share the love that person? Maybe you do, maybe you did something like this for the 1st year of life without them – but I would venture to say that you don't and that generally, American culture is more comfortable pretending these days don’t need permanence in our calendar. Disney/Pixar has captured my attention [...]

31 08, 2017

The Compounded Grief of Premature Deaths

By | 2017-08-31T06:43:25-07:00 August 31st, 2017|Child Loss, News, Perspective, Seasons of Life|0 Comments

There are no easy deaths - there are no situations where the grief experience isn't difficult, complex, and sad. That said, there is a generally accepted threshold where lives are deemed as having been "lived, good and long." When 90 year olds die, we grieve but we do not grapple with a sense of injustice. But there are some (too many) deaths that are non-sensical, tragic, and far too soon. I think of the anniversary of 9/11 and the tradition of reading of the names of those that died - it gives me chills every time and is a witness [...]

23 07, 2017

My Favorite Advice About Time

By | 2017-07-23T23:13:13-07:00 July 23rd, 2017|Inspiration, News, Perspective|0 Comments

I recently finished a podcast called S-Town that featured the true & tragic story John B. McLemore, an astoundingly brilliant horologist - that is, someone who has studied time. The narrator and John begin to discuss sundials together and I learned that most sundials feature a latin inscription about time. Some of them stole my breath, Hora fugit, ne tardes. The hour flees, don't be late. Festina lente. Make haste, but slowly. Lente hora, celeriter anni. An hour passes slowly, but the years go by quickly. Sic vita fluit, dum stare videtur. Life flows away as it seems to stay the same. Ultima latet [...]

14 06, 2017

If Your Father has Died, If You are a Grieving Father … The Shadow Side of Father’s Day

By | 2017-06-14T22:04:47-07:00 June 14th, 2017|Child Loss, News, Parental Loss|0 Comments

Dads. They've got their own unique hold on each and every one of us. With Father's Day on the horizon, I am always drawn to thinking of the people whose voices will struggle on this holiday with what to say. How do you go through the day if your father has died or if you are a father missing a child? If you are on this shadow-side of Father's Day this post is for you. If your dad has died ... I'm so sorry. I hear many people refer to their dads as anchors or guides in their lives, light [...]

10 05, 2017

If Your Mom has Died, If Your Child has Died … The Shadow Side of Mother’s Day

By | 2017-05-10T15:57:57-07:00 May 10th, 2017|Child Loss, News, Parental Loss|0 Comments

This post isn't to take away from the joy of those celebrating or being celebrated this Mother's Day - go for it, enjoy and make the most of your time with the people you love. But for those of you who are in the shadow-side of Mother's Day because your mother has died, or, because your child has died, let's talk, this post is for you. If your mom has died ... Well, you will get through, you will. You may feel alone in it, so let me encourage you to invite her in to the day. Find ways of [...]

27 04, 2017

Stop Saying, “This happened for a reason.” A De-Bunking of Christian Narratives on Death

By | 2017-04-27T00:14:41-07:00 April 27th, 2017|Inspiration, News, Perspective|0 Comments

Ok, so I am going to get slightly religious in this post - it's a necessity in this case and it's no big deal. I try to remain neutral in my writing but I feel this topic calls for a bit of background and religious context. Here goes ... I am fluent in "Christian-ese". After 25 years of growing up in a church with an evangelical background I can tell you with fair confidence that Christians are like everyone else when it comes to control - they need it. One of the crazier things I hear said about death (particularly the deaths that make [...]

19 10, 2016

Look & Laugh, but Don’t TALK About Death: Halloween & Death Exposure

By | 2016-10-19T06:33:42-07:00 October 19th, 2016|Community, News, Perspective|0 Comments

Before you think that I am anti-Halloween because of the ideas expressed below, I want to say that Halloween is actually my very favorite holiday. I love the community feeling of the night, of children scampering off in sweet costumes knocking on the doors of their neighbors and being treated with candy. It's a holiday I celebrate with friends and family every year gathered around a bonfire in the front yard, eating chili and sharing coffee with the weary parents that come by. It's special, festive, and magical to celebrate with friends and strangers by the light of a fire. But [...]

14 09, 2016

Say “Died”: Don’t Lie to Kids About Death

By | 2016-09-14T06:00:47-07:00 September 14th, 2016|Community, News, Resources & Information, Seasons of Life|0 Comments

    Talking to kids about grief is a classic example of ways adults over-complicate, over-think, and over-explain the ideas of death and what it's like to miss someone. Talking about death is uncomfortable for a lot of people, mostly because death is something no one wants to think about. Because we would rather avoid the topic than spend time thinking about it, our kids' understandings of death suffer. From what I have heard and even observed some funeral professionals say about death to their own children is proof that it's not easy for anyone to tell a sweet child about [...]