Grief and Healing Archives – O'Connor Mortuary

20 05, 2020

They Are Dying, and You Can’t Be There
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They Are Dying, and You Can’t Be There

General, Grief and Healing

They Are Dying, and You Can’t Be There

By Molly Keating| 2020-05-20T21:32:19-07:00 May 20th, 2020|General, Grief and Healing|2 Comments

They are dying and you can't be there. People have died alone before. This isn't new. Unexpected deaths, delays, avoidance, or hope of healing are just some reasons that can keep us from being at a death bed when a death occurs. But never or rarely are people prevented from being there. This is a whole new type of trauma that the bereaved people of the COVID-era will have to navigate. And this isn't happening just to COVID patients but to anyone sick or dying in a hospital setting. People dying of "normal" things are dying in abnormal ways. Abnormal [...]

21 04, 2020

The Worst Time to Die: COVID-19 & the Resources We Need

By Molly Keating| 2020-04-22T15:43:25-07:00 April 21st, 2020|Community, Grief and Healing|3 Comments

Babies are still being born. People are still dying of other, "regular" causes and "regular" tragedies. Lives are being changed by a cancer diagnosis and others are being cured. Life is moving ahead despite how on-hold it all feels. And while there is NEVER, ever, ever, ever a "good" time to die. Ever. It seems that we are living through the worst time to die or experience the death of someone you love. Because of restrictions, just 10 people, in some cases not even whole families, can attend a funeral ceremony. While many funeral homes offer webcasting for free, it's [...]

22 01, 2020

The Many Losses of a Grieving Person

By Molly Keating| 2020-01-22T23:16:56-08:00 January 22nd, 2020|Grief and Healing, Perspective|7 Comments

The loss of a loved one is tremendous. It is the greatest loss. Yet, there are other, smaller but significant losses that often follow a person in grief. There is the common experience of a period of hibernation or withdrawal from normal social activities. But, bereavement sometimes changes our orientation to society altogether and without our permission. Widowers who used to find themselves often out with other couples may suddenly find themselves neglected. For many bereaved people company decreases or evaporates altogether. The truth is, it is hard work to grieve and it is hard to be with grievers - [...]

11 12, 2019

Should Holiday Traditions Change if Your Life has Changed?

By Molly Keating| 2019-12-11T23:23:11-08:00 December 11th, 2019|General, Grief and Healing|2 Comments

Holidays are celebrated and kept precious with traditions. In this constantly changing world, we cling to the comfort of something constant. So, losses often hit us the hardest in times of tradition. Suddenly, the way we've always done this is changed forever and it's devastating. What do we do when our tradition is broken by a death? Difficult decisions and thoughts swirl. My husband died, will anyone remember to get ME a present this year? How do I even get out of bed Christmas morning without my child? Mom always loved hosting New Years Eve - do we do [...]

20 11, 2019

When People Die During the Holidays: Brutal & Beautiful

By Molly Keating| 2019-11-20T23:48:11-08:00 November 20th, 2019|Grief and Healing|2 Comments

I was a week shy of being a year old when my grandpa died unexpectedly on Thanksgiving. While I don’t remember the tragedy of the day or his lovely, southern accent, Thanksgiving has always been a time when we’ve talked about him. Growing up, I have a vivid memory of my dad playing “Silent Night” from a Manheim Steamroller Christmas album over the stereo and finding my mom with tears in her eyes telling me that this song always made her think of her dad. It was an unspoken and informal way that my dad remembered my grandpa and my [...]

28 03, 2019

Seeing Signs: Love From Beyond the Grave

By Molly Keating| 2019-03-28T22:43:48-07:00 March 28th, 2019|Grief and Healing, Inspiration, News|2 Comments

Ok, so this title may sound a little ... different - thanks for clicking anyway : ) Have you ever wished for a "sign"? I know I have. "If this is what I'm supposed to do, please give me a sign". We offer this thought to God or the universe and hope that something - anything divine will happen. Whenever we want a sign, what we really want is peace. After all, a "sign" represents supernatural reassurance that we are not alone or adrift. It is a divine symbol that brings reassurance and peace to your heart and mind. Many [...]

23 01, 2019

Gently “Tidying Up” After a Death: Using the KonMari Method

By Molly Keating| 2019-01-24T09:31:29-08:00 January 23rd, 2019|Grief and Healing, Inspiration, Self-Help|0 Comments

Perhaps you've seen the new show on Netflix, Tidying Up or you've heard of Marie Kondo and her philosophy of how to go through your home deciding what to keep and what to let go. In her "KonMari Method" she speaks about honing our sense of what brings us joy. So the idea is we hold an item in our hands and if it brings joy, keep it. If it doesn't, we thank it for what it gave to us, and we let it go. This isn't an easy task to take on. Perhaps some areas of your home or life [...]

19 12, 2018

It’s OK to be Sad at Christmas

By Molly Keating| 2018-12-18T22:05:51-08:00 December 19th, 2018|Grief and Healing, Seasons of Life|4 Comments

If you are sad this Christmas, it is ok. We tend to feel that the holidays aren't a time for sadness. That we should magically "feel better" or at least pretend to be doing fine. And while around some people it may be easier or best to pretend, it is important that with ourselves and our trusted friends, we be honest. Share your sorrow with someone who also shares it. If a friend or family member has died this year, others are also missing them. Reach out, be a connection and remind them - affirm for yourself - no one [...]

19 11, 2018

Grieving Through the Holidays

By Molly Keating| 2018-11-16T15:55:20-08:00 November 19th, 2018|General, Grief and Healing|3 Comments

Grieving Through the Holidays For so many families the holidays hold the promise of togetherness, familiarity, tradition and comfort. But for the grieving, every one of these words is shattered and opposed by new words like, apart, strange, broken and grieved. So what does this "grieving through the holidays" look like? Feel like? What are your expectations? Fears? Anxieties? Considering in advance what these holidays might be like for you can be one of the greatest helps to getting yourself through these days that feel emptied out of their usual joy. Here are some things to consider in preparation: [...]

24 10, 2018

Making New Memories from the Old (Up-cycling & Great Gift Ideas!)

By Molly Keating| 2018-10-24T23:10:42-07:00 October 24th, 2018|General, Grief and Healing, Inspiration|1 Comment

One of the often unaddressed issues families face after a loved one dies, is what to keep and how to keep it? Often times we feel inclined to keep a LOT - sure we can donate some things or divvy them up amongst family - but the need to preserve and hold on is a part or phase of grieving for many people. Over time, as we begin to identify the items that hold the most meaning for us we can begin to alleviate ourselves of the less significant items. Eventually, these can be given away or donated without pain. [...]

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