“General”

17 06, 2020

The Gravity of Grief, and a Way Through

By | 2020-06-17T23:04:23-07:00 June 17th, 2020|General, Inspiration, Resources & Information|0 Comments

Stick with me on this one - I think it's important. When COVID lockdowns started, I found myself very isolated at home with two very little children. TV became a primary escape for us as parks, beaches and even grandparents were off limits. When Disney released Frozen 2 early, I was excited to watch it with my 3 year old daughter. Little did I think I would absolutely adore this movie. There are many reasons it speaks to me, but what surprised me was how it speaks to the community of readers here. Death isn't uncommon in Disney movies, but [...]

20 05, 2020

They Are Dying, and You Can’t Be There

By | 2020-05-20T21:32:19-07:00 May 20th, 2020|General, Grief and Healing|1 Comment

They are dying and you can't be there. People have died alone before. This isn't new. Unexpected deaths, delays, avoidance, or hope of healing are just some reasons that can keep us from being at a death bed when a death occurs. But never or rarely are people prevented from being there. This is a whole new type of trauma that the bereaved people of the COVID-era will have to navigate. And this isn't happening just to COVID patients but to anyone sick or dying in a hospital setting. People dying of "normal" things are dying in abnormal ways. Abnormal [...]

19 03, 2020

Funerals in a Time of Quarantine

By | 2020-03-19T08:24:57-07:00 March 19th, 2020|General, Planning Ahead, Resources & Information|11 Comments

Just yesterday I saw something I've never seen before at a funeral for a young mom and her daughter, killed together in a car accident. Over a thousand people wanted to attend their service but the health precautions kept all but immediate family from attending the actual service. Hundreds of people gathered in pockets to webcast the service and line the streets of the procession. But they also did the most beautiful thing. The pastor was deeply upset that the church would effectively be empty despite the tragedy and outpouring of love from the community. So, an idea came forward [...]

18 02, 2020

Not ready to be happy

By | 2020-02-18T22:45:46-08:00 February 18th, 2020|General|2 Comments

I believe there comes a period in mourning where we begin to realize we are returning. Life, light and a few smiles somehow make their way past our dark gates of grief. It's surprising and perhaps even exciting - but almost immediately it also feels threatening and fearful. Grievers often feel a loyalty to their pain. This pain of grief can become a stand-in companion for the loved one being mourned. There can be a sense that only when we are holding tightly to our grief are we being loyal to the memory of our loved one. But if we [...]

11 12, 2019

Should Holiday Traditions Change if Your Life has Changed?

By | 2019-12-11T23:23:11-08:00 December 11th, 2019|General, Grief and Healing|2 Comments

Holidays are celebrated and kept precious with traditions. In this constantly changing world, we cling to the comfort of something constant. So, losses often hit us the hardest in times of tradition. Suddenly, the way we've always done this is changed forever and it's devastating. What do we do when our tradition is broken by a death? Difficult decisions and thoughts swirl.   My husband died, will anyone remember to get ME a present this year? How do I even get out of bed Christmas morning without my child?  Mom always loved hosting New Years Eve - do we do [...]

17 10, 2019

Claim Your Grief Space

By | 2019-10-14T20:12:58-07:00 October 17th, 2019|General|2 Comments

First of all, let me say that this "grief space" is going to look different for everyone. We all know there is no one-size-fits-all way to approach grieving (though it would be so nice if there was!), and so this process is something that will require you to consider ways that you process and incorporate change. We've all seen examples of unresolved grief on television - just watch any episode of Hoarders or Kitchen Nightmares. The horrific scenarios in these shows are often the result of a traumatic event or death in the person's past. Often, the loss was never [...]

9 09, 2019

Grief and the Need for Sacred Space

By | 2019-09-11T22:22:22-07:00 September 9th, 2019|Ceremonies, General|3 Comments

It seems impossible that 9/11 happened to us 18 years ago. EIGHTEEN years. To me, this is proof that time is in fact, not a healer, but a carrier. We are held and carried by time further and further away from the moment of anguish. I think this is as comforting as it is terrifying for a grieving person to comprehend. To move away from the day is to move away from "them".  And while distractions, acceptance and changed habits slowly move us into less-pain-filled-space, our grief will remain and our wound stays tender when touched. Grief requires a sacred [...]

25 04, 2019

When Your Grief is Invisible: Infertility and the Grief Experience

By | 2019-04-25T17:36:18-07:00 April 25th, 2019|Child Loss, General, Perspective|1 Comment

This week is Infertility Awareness week. Infertility has an invisibility to it that few other griefs do. When someone dies, people notice. But what if there is no body to bury or no name to say? What if the loss is invisible? Infertility has both male and female victims and is a term applied to women who can get pregnant but not sustain the pregnancy. So the little lives that are lost to infertility either exist only briefly or in the hearts of the people seeking to create them. Let's face it, our society struggles enough to talk about tangible [...]

26 02, 2019

The BEST Sympathy Cards and What to Write in Them

By | 2019-02-26T22:57:43-08:00 February 26th, 2019|General, Resources & Information|1 Comment

The personal touch of a sympathy card is a warm and thoughtful way of continuing to reach out to someone you love. But so many of us are intimidated by any sort of expression of sympathy, worried we'll say the wrong thing or - a concern I've heard often - that we'll just be reminding them of their loss - AS IF they have forgotten! It's worthwhile, kind and thoughtful to reach out to people we know that are grieving. While many of us might text our sympathy these days, there is a lack of weight to the receipt of a text [...]

19 11, 2018

Grieving Through the Holidays

By | 2018-11-16T15:55:20-08:00 November 19th, 2018|General, Grief and Healing|3 Comments

Grieving Through the Holidays For so many families the holidays hold the promise of togetherness, familiarity, tradition and comfort. But for the grieving, every one of these words is shattered and opposed by new words like, apart, strange, broken and grieved. So what does this "grieving through the holidays" look like? Feel like? What are your expectations? Fears? Anxieties? Considering in advance what these holidays might be like for you can be one of the greatest helps to getting yourself through these days that feel emptied out of their usual joy.   Here are some things to consider in preparation: [...]