Posts by O'Connor Mortuary

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So far O'Connor Mortuary has created 62 blog entries.
22 02, 2017

The Awesome Power of “Telling The Story”

By | 2018-02-28T08:44:49-07:00 February 22nd, 2017|Grief and Healing|Comments Off on The Awesome Power of “Telling The Story”

Why I'm Proud to be a Grief Counselor by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. As my father lay in his hospital bed recovering from cancer surgery recently, it was my privilege to honor his life story. My wonderful father recognized in his head and heart that his days on this earth were limited. Rest did not come easy, but his need to "story" did. His love of family flowed out of stories from his childhood. He told me how his mother inspired his love for baseball. He told me how his father wasn't very emotionally or [...]

22 02, 2017

Tenet 2: Companioning Principle

By | 2018-02-28T08:44:49-07:00 February 22nd, 2017|Grief and Healing|Comments Off on Tenet 2: Companioning Principle

Companioning is about going to the wilderness of the soul with another human being; it is not about thinking you are responsible for finding the way out. by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. When someone we love dies and we feel suffering, it does not mean that something is wrong. Going into the wilderness of the soul with another human being is anchored in walking with them through spiritual distress without thinking we have to have them attain "resolution" or "recovery." Being in the wilderness relates to being in a liminal space. "Limina" is the Latin [...]

22 02, 2017

Tenet 1: Companioning Principle

By | 2018-02-28T08:44:50-07:00 February 22nd, 2017|Grief and Healing|Comments Off on Tenet 1: Companioning Principle

Companioning is about being present to another person's pain; it is not about taking away the pain. by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Editor's note: The following article is excerpted from Dr. Wolfelt's book Companioning the Bereaved: A Soulful Guide for Caregivers, which presents a model for grief counseling based on his "companioning" principles. Companioning is not about assessing, analyzing, fixing or resolving another's grief. Instead, it is about being totally present to the mourner, even being a temporary guardian of his soul. To be bereaved literally means to be "torn apart." When someone is torn [...]

22 02, 2017

Companioning the Bereaved:

By | 2018-02-28T08:44:50-07:00 February 22nd, 2017|Grief and Healing|Comments Off on Companioning the Bereaved:

An Introduction by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Editor's note: The following article is excerpted from Dr. Wolfelt's book Companioning the Bereaved: A Soulful Guide for Caregivers, which presents a model for grief counseling based on his "companioning" principles. Companioning is not about assessing, analyzing, fixing or resolving another's grief. Instead, it is about being totally present to the mourner, even being a temporary guardian of his soul. To order this book or for more information, visit www.centerforloss.com. At the very heart of grief lies an irreducible mystery. I have come to discover that grief is [...]

22 02, 2017

Why Is the Funeral Ritual Important?

By | 2018-02-28T08:44:50-07:00 February 22nd, 2017|Grief and Healing|Comments Off on Why Is the Funeral Ritual Important?

by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. "When words are inadequate, have a ritual." Anonymous Rituals are symbolic activities that help us, together with our families and friends, express our deepest thoughts and feelings about life's most important events. Baptism celebrates the birth of a child and that child's acceptance into the church family. Birthday parties honor the passing of another year in the life of someone we love. Weddings publicly affirm the private love shared by two people. The funeral ritual, too, is a public, traditional and symbolic means of expressing our beliefs, thoughts and feelings [...]

22 02, 2017

Ten Freedoms for Creating a Meaningful Funeral

By | 2018-02-28T08:44:50-07:00 February 22nd, 2017|Grief and Healing|Comments Off on Ten Freedoms for Creating a Meaningful Funeral

by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Meaningful funerals do not just happen. They are well-thought-out rituals that, at least for a day or two, demand your focus and your time. But the planning may feel less burdensome if you keep in mind that the energy you expend now to create a personalized, inclusive ceremony will help you, your family and other mourners embark on healthy, healing grief journeys. The following list is intended to empower you to create a funeral that will be meaningful to you and your family and friends. 1. You have the right [...]

22 02, 2017

Helping Create a Meaningful Eulogy

By | 2018-02-28T08:44:50-07:00 February 22nd, 2017|Grief and Healing|Comments Off on Helping Create a Meaningful Eulogy

by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Planning a meaningful, personalized funeral is one of the most important tasks you will ever undertake. Think of the funeral as a gift to the person who died. It is your chance to think about and express the value of the life that was lived. When personalized, the eulogy (pronounced EWE-luh-jee) is perhaps the most memorable and healing element of the funeral ceremony. This article will help you choose the right person to give the eulogy as well as offer tips for writing and presenting the eulogy. What is the [...]

22 02, 2017

Helping Your Family Personalize the Funeral

By | 2018-02-28T08:44:51-07:00 February 22nd, 2017|Grief and Healing|Comments Off on Helping Your Family Personalize the Funeral

by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. If you are in the midst of planning a funeral, you may be feeling overwhelmed right now. Many details must be attended to. Many people must be contacted. Many decisions must be made. Your natural and necessary feelings of grief make these tasks even more difficult. Still, I encourage you to slow down, take a deep breath and focus on what is really important-what is essential-about the funeral you are planning. What is essential is the life that was lived and the impact that life had on family and friends. [...]

22 02, 2017

Helping Bereaved Siblings Heal

By | 2018-02-28T08:44:51-07:00 February 22nd, 2017|Grief and Healing|Comments Off on Helping Bereaved Siblings Heal

by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. Next to the death of a parent, the death of a sibling can be the most traumatic event in a child's life. Why? Because not only has a family member died, but a family member for whom the child probably had very strong and ambivalent feelings. As those of us who have brothers and sisters know, sibling relationships are characterized by anger, jealousy and a fierce closeness and love-a highly complex melange of emotion. This complexity colors the surviving child's grief experience. A Caring Adult's Role How adults respond when [...]

22 02, 2017

Helping Grieving Children at School

By | 2018-02-28T08:44:51-07:00 February 22nd, 2017|Grief and Healing|Comments Off on Helping Grieving Children at School

by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D. A Student is Grieving As a teacher or school counselor, you know how profoundly a student's home life affects her school life. The two are inextricably intertwined. When someone in the child's family dies, then, the death colors every moment of every day for the child. The child cannot "put her grief aside" while she learns and plays alongside the other students. Instead, she must learn to integrate her grief into all aspects of her life, including school. You can help. By following the guidelines in this article, you will [...]