In the 20 years since 9/11 became a part of all our lives. We have enfolded it into our history, studied and honored it. Many of us have made a pilgrimage to the site of the twin towers and been overwhelmed by the space and the silence. I [...]
So many families are asking this question, "Should we still have a funeral?” COVID made funerals impossible and the delays kept coming. Funerals were put off and families have been left without a critical tool in the bereavement journey: the funeral day. It seems that it took COVID [...]
The nightmare becomes reality. Child-loss is something we avoid reading about, thinking about, or wanting to look at at almost all costs. The pain is so much. The loss is "disorganized" as Dr. Bill Hoy puts it, meaning it occurs out of our natural order. We all agree on [...]
Last month I wrote about how "resurrection doesn't mean reversal" (quoting the fabulous Nadia Bolz-Weber). It occurs to me that the navigation of re-entry that we are all facing has a great deal in common with the re-entry bereaved people face. We are entering a familiar world with familiar [...]
Myth of "Back to Normal" after COVID We keep talking about "back to normal" and it sounds so wonderful. I so badly want to see and feel the life I had before this pandemic darkness. But when I step outside and visit my old haunts normal isn't anywhere [...]
I attended the annual ADEC virtual & international conference on death and dying last week and walked away with so many incredible new ways to think about the dying & grief experience. One of the interesting terms introduced to us was “Pandemic Grief” by Dr. Robert Neimeyer. He spoke [...]
As hope begins to flicker in with vaccinations and re-openings I feel the great temptation to forget all that we've been through this last year and move into the excitement of our "old" life. But - we've all been changed dramatically by the pandemic. I know that there are [...]
Valentine's Day without your Valentine is not going to be an easy day. There's a darkness just to saying or typing out the idea. If this Sunday will be your first or fifteenth Valentine's Day without your sweetheart, I am truly so sorry. Since you are here, I'm [...]
We need things to end. Most of the time, we dread or avoid endings. They are sad, difficult, unwanted and force us to face a changed reality. But I believe that we need endings, desperately. I have never craved an ending for a year as strongly as I have [...]
Grieving people can be difficult to buy for. The main reason for that, is that their life has taken on a complete and total inventory check of what's meaningful and actually important. I remember hearing a bereaved person say that their "bullsh!t meter" was sharper than ever [...]
